5th folder, 5th picture

Ok, so it's been a while since my last post so today my mom found out about a "meme" and now have been asked to participate by posting a picture from the 5th folder, 5th photo. Coincidentally, my mom's 5th- 5th photo was of Kobe and mine is too!!

This picture was taken of my son's dog, Kobe, at my mom's backyard in Utah. We were all there for an "early" Thanksmas celebration November 7th thru the 9th. My son Brian and his dog Kobe live in Arizona, so as you can see from the picture, snow was a wonderful new discovery for Kobe! He has so much fun playing in the snow and it was so funny to watch him rolling around in it. Although Kobe was born in Colorado, he was very young (5 months old) when he and Brian moved to Arizona so I am sure he did not remember snow. Emily had a great time making "snowballs" and throwing them in the air for Kobe to catch. You should have seen the look on Kobe's face when he jumped in the air to "catch" the snowball in his mouth only to have it completely disintegrate as soon as he bit it!! It was a great time for us and we all miss Kobe so much (oh, and Brian too!!) ha ha.

Santa's letter

Emily was so funny yesterday. We were making cookies together, rolling snickerdoodle's in the cinnamon/sugar mixture when out of the blue, she informs me that she figured out why Santa doesn't bring her what she wants each year for Christmas!

And yes, I was like, "WHAT?!?!" I guess because we got her a PSP last year from Santa and it wasn't what she asked for (lesson here: kids don't care about how expensive or popular and item is, they just want what they want). So I listened patiently as she explains it.

She says that Santa doesn't bring her what she wants, that me and her Dad get her what is on her list. After consideration, I realize this is true. The gift from Santa is usually one big (ie. expensive) gift that her Dad and I couldn't afford to get her. The gifts on her list are typically in the how do we say, more affordable range, so easy to fulfill.

Emily goes on to explain to me that it is because she gives me her Santa letter each year and does not mail it to Santa herself. Ok. So I can go along with that one.

I heard that Macy's had a box in their stores where you can mail a letter to Santa. So I tell her we can go to Macy's when we pick up Alyssa from work and she can mail her letter to Santa. She then re-writes her letter to Santa and puts in in an envelope and seals the envelope!! Yes, now I'm thinking, "Oh great plan April!!" Now I don't know what the "revised" list says.

Anyway, we go out in the freezing cold to take her to Macy's so she can "mail" her letter to Santa and in the car I try to carefully ask about the revisions she made. As I listen VERY carefully to her oral recollection of the "new" list, I am relieved because I don't think there are major differences but now I feel compelled to get her one more thing that is on the "new" list so she will see that her plan worked.

Luckily, one of the new things is a particular book. It is inexpensive but now that means another trip to the mall, a task I was trying very hard to avoid. So much for finishing up early and for good plans!

Time for me

Okay, it has been quite a while since my last post. The reason? Life. Since October, life seems to be moving at a faster pace than me. I seem to be behind on everything at home, work, and just in everything in general. Well, a chat with my doctor and after a complete physical, it is clear that I need to start making time for myself and treating myself as a priority instead of something that can be done after I get everything else done. So, I am trying to make some changes to help me get back in the swing of things and to help me keep up with this wonderful, if sometimes much to fast, thing called life. So here's to small changes that will hopefully make a big difference. I am taking a vacation day from work so that is a start. You have to start somewhere, right?

I've been tagged!!

Ok, so my mom tagged me so now I need to divulge seven previously unknown things about myself. So here goes:

1.) I hate, absolutely HATE, to wear panty hose. Pretty much, the only time I wear them is for job interviews. That may explain why I have worked for three companies in the past 20 years!

2.) When I was pregnant with my third (AND LAST) child, I was very sick the entire pregnancy. I was so sick that I could not eat anything chocolate (previously I was a choc-a-holic). Well, that stuck with me even after she was born and today I hardly eat chocolate anymore. Don't get me wrong, if someone offers me something chocolate I am still going to eat it but if given a choice, I will pick something that is not chocolate.

3.) I am a terrible procrastinator. Well, actually, I guess the proper term would be I am an excellent procrastinator. That may be a surprise to some because I do get things done. But the truth is I pretty much just get things done when I have a deadline. If I don't have a deadline, then it could be quite a while until I get around to it. Like uploading pictures to my snapfish website or updating my blog or going for a ride on my bike- I would like to do these things more often but since I don't have a deadline to do them, each week they get pushed to the bottom of my "to do" list.

4.) Speaking of lists, I am a list person. I like to make out a grocery list, I make a list of my bills to pay (I list them but that doesn't mean they always get paid!), I make to do lists, I live by my calendar in my daytimer. I think the reason I make lists is so I don't have to remember things! If I have it written down, then I can forget about it! Most days, I have trouble remembering what I had for breakfast that day so I think this is a survival mechanism for me!

5.) I took piano lessons when I was in junior high. I had a friend that lived next door to us when we first moved to Amarillo, Texas. They lived in a beautiful, three-story green house right next door to ours. I was in sixth grade and my next door neighbor Leigh, was in second grade. Despite the age difference, we became friends. Leigh and her family moved to a brand new house in a very nice area in Amarillo but we kept in contact. We also moved but as it turned out, our new house was near where Leigh was taking piano lessons. I ran into them one day after school and we began chatting. Leigh's mom offered to let me take piano lessons and they would pay for them if I would babysit for them occassionally. I did baby sit for them once but nothing that would equate to the cost of piano lessons for more than a year. I later realized that Leigh's mom never intended for me to "earn" the lessons by babysitting- it was an act of kindness on her part. Giving me something she knew I would love but that my single mom with 4 kids could never have provided. I have long since lost contact with Leigh and her family but I wish now that I could tell her mom how much that act of kindness meant to me.

6.) I can rollerskate! No, not that I used to be able to rollerskate but I can STILL rollerskate. I can even rollerskate backwards. When I was growing up, I loved being able to spend all day on Saturday at the rollerskating rink. I even won a rollerskating contest one Saturday and got a free lesson for 30 minutes!

7.) I haven't vacuumed my house in over 20 years! Don't worry, it is safe to come over to my house. I am just VERY lucky to have a wonderful husband who actually LIKES to vacuum. And I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth so I let him (nice of me, huh!). A few weeks ago he said he wanted to get a new vacuum cleaner so within an hour, we were at the store and he was picking one out. As long as all I have to do is pay for the vacuum, he can get whatever one his heart desires!

So there you have it. Seven things about me you may not have know. What are seven things I don't know about you?

Just five minutes.........

August is always a crazy time for me. Getting the kids ready for school, shopping for clothes, new shoes, school supplies. Getting haircuts, going swimming one last time, planning and shopping for Emily's birthday, and this year, helping my son move out of state. August just flew by like it always does and I seem to be behind on everything. There are tons of clothes to wash (I only did what was absolutely needed each week), the house is a mess, we have hardly any groceries (again, I only got what was absolutely needed each week!), mail is piled up, I haven't balanced the checkbook in forever......Calgon, take me away. Then it occured to me. I wish I could be a five minute person. The type of person who can do something for just five minutes then put it away until tomorrow. I am not a five minute person. I have to finish what I start. The problem is, I don't start something unless I know I can finish it. So, many things that should be started remain undone and each day my list grows longer and longer and my sense of my life spinning out of control increases. I think if I could just balance my checkbook each day, it would only take five minutes versus doing in once a month (or longer!) and it takes HOURS. If I could just clean the bathroom sink one day, then the toilet the next, then the mirror the next day, it would only take five minutes but then on Saturday, I would not have to clean the bathroom for a half an hour. If I could only do small tasks instead of the whole project, maybe things would not seem so crazy. Maybe I would feel like I am on top of things instead of feeling like I'm in quicksand. How nice would it be to take five minutes each day and do something for me? I could read a magazine article, I could do sit-ups, I could just sit- close my eyes-breath-and do nothing, I could keep up on my poor, neglected blog! So today I set a goal. I will try to tackle something each day for just five minutes. I will see in a month how I did and how I feel. I can't wait!

Letting go

Last night was a night of mixed emotions for our family. It was the last time in quite a while that we will be all together as a family. Friday, August 10th Brian will move to Arizona and our family will be forever changed. We are very excited for Brian to have this opportunity and know that he will be cared for very well by Geri, Lisa, Kathy, Kari, Teri, Lauree, Len and all of our other family and friends in Arizona. And of course, his girlfriend Tessa will keep him out of trouble. But we will miss him so much. Even though he moved out in January to his own place, he still was only 5 blocks away and we saw him every Sunday night for dinner and often we able to do things with him more often as our schedules (and his) permitted. Now, he will be a sixteen hour car ride away or a two hour plane ride (which is really 5 hours by the time you drive & wait!) and our Sunday night ritual will come to an end.

He is ready to grow up, spread his wings, and become a man with his own life. He is opening a new chapter in his life and I am so happy for him but at the same time my heart hurts. He is my first baby, my only son. On the outside I try to be strong and supportive but on the inside I want to keep my baby boy here with me. He is ready to go but I am not ready for him to go yet. Letting go is not one of my strong suits.

I try to remind myself that I will see him in a few months at Thanksmas but that doesn't make it easier. MONTHS, not days, hours, or even a week. I won't see my boy for MONTHS! I know in my rational mind that this is something every mother must do but trying to tell that to my heart is a different story. I miss him already and he has not even left yet...boy, I'm in big trouble!

When he comes home to visit, things will be different. He will be a guest and we get just the highlights of his new life, not the day-to-day ordinary life and news conversations we have today sitting around our dinner table. Yet, like any mothre, I want him to be happy and with Tessa he is happy. He needs to be in Arizona now- I know that. But they never tell you how hard it will be to say good-bye and let them go. Even if they did tell you how hard it will be, until you actually have to do it, you don't really have an idea of how hard it is.

There are no words that can fully describe how proud we are of Brian and the wonderful, kind-hearted, smart, funny, intelligent, good-natured young man he has grown up to be. He is sympathetic, strong, loyal, quick-witted, a great dad to his dog Kobe, a wonderful son, and a great big brother for Alyssa and Emily. I know he will be successful in his life and I know we have done all we can to raise a happy, productive young man for this world.

Yet when he leaves, a piece of my heart will go with him. I will help him to leave because I know that is what he needs to do at this stage in his life but it will be the hardest thing to do. I will be letting go but I think my heart will hurt forever. So I will be a good mom and help him to leave us. I will strong and supportive and happy for him. But when he is not here, I will cry for my loss. My little boy will only live in my memories, no longer in my home or in my city, or even my state. The man that comes to visit will be different- and we will be different too. Our everyday lives will go on without him and his life will go on without us being there each day.

I know he is very excited but I am his mom so I know he is also very scared. So he won't let me see how scared he is to be leaving and I won't let him know that I cry everytime I think about him leaving. Even though it is so hard, we will both be letting go.

A bell for Princess Emily

Well, today was one of those days when you appreciate the little things in life. The story starts yesterday when Emily found a small bell I had given her in her room. I received the bell from a wedding shower I attended last fall and thought Emily might enjoy it. I hadn't seen it in MONTHS when Emily re-discovered it in her room yesterday. She was so excited by her discovery and ran to show me her find. She then informed me that she wanted Daddy to wake her up in the morning by ringing the bell! I just laughed because this was so Princess Emily! I couldn't wait to see Chris's face when she told him! Well, sure enough, when Chris came home she ran and informed him that she wanted him to ring the bell each morning to wake her up. As I expected, he immediately said, "There is no way I am going to ring a bell to wake you up in the morning!" Emily was undaunted. She just looked up at him with her big green eyes and said, "Pleeeeaaassseeee Daddy!". It was over- she had him! He agreed. We went to bed and I didn't think about it anymore. Imagine my surprise this morning at 6:30am when I heard the faint tinkle of that little silver bell! I couldn't believe that Chris remembered and that he actually did it! He did it so Emily would wake up feeling special with a big smile on her face- even though he thought is was stupid and did not want to do it. It is little moments like these in life that remind me why I married this very special man. What a great way to start the day!